Things I Learned This Weekend - Updated!

- Just because eight people RSVP on Thursday for your Friday Pampered Ch*f Party does not mean that eight will attend on Friday - something will inevitably come up that requires half of them to cancel on Friday morning.

- If for some reason I were to lose my day job, I could get a job as a bartender. I make EXCELLENT chocolate martinis!

- Even though guests are aware that the Pampered Ch*f Party is a Chocolate Bliss theme party, guests will still expect something more substantial (supper-like) being the party begins at 5:25. (Evidently Nutty Caramel Brownies, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cheesecake, Oreos, Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookie Sticks, M&Ms, Chocolate Milk, Strawberry Chocolate Shooters, and Chocolate Martinis are not considered a "good" supper.)

- No matter how well you coat your daughter in sunscreen does not mean she will return the favor. (But hopefully she will learn her lesson as she will now be coating her mom's back in lotion twice a day for the foreseeable future.)

- If you head to the pool to take advantage of the sunny, cloudless skies, that does not mean the skies will remain that way. (In only 45 short minutes, the skies will turn a deep, dark grey with the threat of rain - oh, and the wind will pick up tremendously!)

- If you run out of white milk for breakfast, chocolate milk will work great with chocolate flavored cereals and chocolate malt-o-meal.

- If you are knowingly going on a 3 mile walk, flip flops should not be the shoe of choice.

- Two parents walking cannot keep up with two kids on scooters.

- If you go golfing and are wishing for a partly cloudly sky along with a gentle breeze, it will not come. (It will be completely sunny with very little breeze - a great day for the pool.)

- Even after three coatings of bug spray, if the mosquitos are determined enough, they will still bite you.

- When you get excited and finally decide to add a line for the kids to your cell phone plan and instead of allowing the kids to pick their new phone, you pick a new "cool" one and give them your old one, you will quickly become disappointed when you find out the new phone is crap! (Supposedly batteries on phones these days only last 8 to 12 hours?!?!?! And I can't make or receive calls because the signal keeps disappearing!!! Are you kidding me??????? I want my old phone back!!!)

- When I play (and I use this term loosely) tennis, I look like a ballerina - according to my daughter. I take this as a compliment - I'm a very graceful tennis player! So if you're looking to combine tennis and ballet into one - I'm your girl!

- Backhand swings in tennis are very tricky! (This is usually when I look most like a ballerina.)